


Here Comes a Thought

by YouveGotAFiendInMe



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 01:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouveGotAFiendInMe/pseuds/YouveGotAFiendInMe
Summary: Remus finds himself worried that Virgil is falling out of love with him after they wrap up filming of Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 311





	Here Comes a Thought

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on the cover of Here Comes a Thought by Annapantsu on YouTube
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIRwc0_jGsM

"That's a wrap on Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts!" Thomas announced happily as the cameras were shut off, "You all did so good!"

"Especially the new meat." Roman teased his brother, "Turns out we both have an affinity for acting."

Remus dramatically flipped his hair, "Why thank you, I exist only to serve."

Virgil leaned slightly against the railing of the stairway, a small smile gracing his lips as he shook his head lovingly, "Now that the fans know you exist, you're going to get a lot more cocky, aren't you?"

Remus didn't give any warning, launching himself at Virgil so they landed in a heap on the floor, their fall cushioned by the pillows Remus had conjured, "My love!" He squeaked, having not heard Virgil re-enter after sinking out for the end of the video.

Virgil snickered as he was assaulted with kisses on the cheek, turning his face away to get a sentence in, "Remus, you're going to mess up my makeup-"

"I'll fix it later, right now I need your jacket."

"My jacket?"

"Hand it over, it's mine when the cameras are off."

"Oh come on."

Roman had moved to the couch with Logan, the two holding hands as they laid sprawled out together, "You signed up for this when you started dating him, V. You have nobody to blame but yourself."

Remus gave Virgil one last kiss on the cheek, "Jacket please."

Virgil rolled his eyes, chuckling softly as he shed his hoodie and handed it to Remus who promptly tugged it on and zipped it up. Remus was about to drag Virgil to the beanbag chair in the mindscape, but Virgil turned his head and stifled a yawn against his hand, exhausted from the long day of filming.

“I think I’m going to grab a quick nap.” Virgil said as he pulled away from Remus, rubbing his eyes, “Y’all good here?”

He got varying positive responses, and without another word he headed to his room, leaving Remus who was still fiddling with the zippers of his jacket.

Remus would have told you he was happy if you’d asked, but after a half hour of hanging out in the common area, and of seeing how Patton would give Deceit tiny kisses, or the way Roman lovingly looked at Logan as Logan read a book, Remus felt something close to pain twist in his stomach, and he left the room without even bothering to say anything to anyone else.

Remus shrugged off Virgil’s jacket as he entered his room, neatly folding it and placing it on a chair before he crawled into bed, changing out of his set costume and into an oversized shirt and shorts with a thought as he did so. He grabbed one of his pillows and cradled it close, pressing his face to it. Why did he feel so… Gross? He had those intrusive thoughts, but he had gotten used to the violent or disgusting thoughts years prior, since it was part of who he was, and it had been so long since thoughts had unsettled him so. Now his thoughts were racing, about what Virgil had said to him in the video, and if Logan were there he knew Logan would remind him that it was simply a script, but the conviction that Virgil had delivered his lines with felt so real, and that had to mean something, right?

Remus felt wet tears dripping down his face as he thought back to the video that they’d just made, the things Virgil had said.

_“You know what's funny? You used to really unsettle me. I thought that you were some… terrible illness.”_

Remus choked on a sob, hiding his face against his pillow as his body shook with sobs. Virgil _had_ been afraid of him, in all actuality, and it had taken years of talking and getting to know one another for Virgil to not shrink back anytime Remus opened his mouth or raised a hand. Had Virgil gone back to seeing Remus as the enemy, as annoying, as an inconvenience? Had Remus made Virgil hate him again?

_“Now I can see that you're just… a common cold. A mild inconvenience that's… gone before you know it.”_

Remus couldn’t hold back his tears anymore, and his chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. What was happening to him? Was he _dying_? Could sides even die? He couldn’t breathe, and tears were still falling, and everything felt like _too much_. Remus tried to sit up, tried to move, tried to do anything, but he couldn’t feel his limbs, couldn’t do anything, couldn’t even _think_.

“Remus?” A soft voice said at his side, and Remus looked up to see Virgil standing there, face clean of makeup, still half asleep, but as he saw the state his boyfriend was in, all traces of sleepiness were gone.

“_V-Virgil-_” He choked out, and that was all he managed to say before Virgil had moved into bed with Remus and tugged him close, pressing small kisses to the top of Remus’s head.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Virgil promised.

“I-I can’t-I can’t _breathe-_”

“You’re having a panic attack, dear. It’s okay, I’m right here.” Virgil murmured soothingly, hand rubbing slow circles over Remus’s back, “Just listen to my heartbeat, okay?”

Remus managed to nod and pressed his head to Virgil’s chest, and when he heard that familiar beating, and the knot in his chest loosened slightly, and feeling returned to his body.

“What happened?” Virgil asked as Remus’s breathing regulated, “I’ve never seen you like this, Rem.”

Remus shut his eyes as tears continued to fall, “Do you hate me again?” he croaked.

“What?” Virgil breathed, voice full of disbelief, “Why would I _hate_ you?”

“B-Because I’m bad. It’s the whole p-point of me being in the s-series.”

“Oh, _sweetheart_.” Virgil shook his head, then leaned down to kiss away Remus’s tears, “Is this about today’s video?”

“Y-You used to hate me.” Remus sniffled, “Everyone did.”

“I didn’t know you back then.” Virgil leaned in to steal a single kiss, brushing his lips against Remus’s in a soft, gentle form of reassurance, “But now I do, and I love you with all my heart.”

“Even if I think bad things? The scary things?”

“Those are just thoughts, Rem.” Virgil reminded him softly.

“Can you sing to me? Like you do to help me sleep?” Remus asked hesitantly.

Virgil’s face lit up, and he kissed Remus once more before he settled back against the bed, keeping his arms around Remus, “Of course I can.”

Remus felt himself completely relax as Virgil began singing, and if Remus hadn’t been so completely worn out from crying, he’d have laughed at the choice in song.

_“Take a moment to think of just_

_Flexibility, love, and trust_

_Take a moment to think of just_

_Flexibility, love, and trust.”_

Remus hummed in appreciation as he felt Virgil’s hand move to his hair to toy with his curls, getting lost in the sound of his lover’s voice.

_“Here comes a thought that might alarm you_

_What someone said and how it harmed you_

_Something you did that failed to be charming_

_Things that you said are suddenly swarming.”_

Remus couldn’t help it as he giggled due to Virgil giving him a kiss on the tip of his nose, and he ducked his head to hide his face in the crook of Virgil’s neck.

_“And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch_

_All these little things seem to matter so much_

_That they confuse you_

_That I might lose you_

_Take a moment, remind yourself_

_To take a moment and find yourself_

_Take a moment and ask yourself_

_If this is how we fall apart.”_

Remus actually burst out laughing as Virgil nuzzled his face against Remus’s cheek, and Virgil’s heart soared at seeing Remus once again smiling and happy, no longer distressed and in tears.

_“But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not_

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay_

_You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear_

_I'm here, I'm here, I'm_ **here**._”_

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!!


End file.
